Just so you know..

So, I didn't have school today which was great because I found myself sleeping in. I cannot even express to you how wonderful it feels to sleep in on a saturday for me. It has been so long that I had almost forgotten how wonderful it was.

I woke up to my son bashing a toy against the wall. Now normally this might have annoyed me, but like I said... I got to sleep in! So I promptly took care of him and while he was terrorizing one or more objects in the room, decided to surf YouTube. Now I know that youtube is an aweful aweful thing, but frankly I don't care. I love to watch all of the people on there. Maybe it makes me feel more connected (pathetic I know) but I don't think that's the case. I think it's my insatiable quest for something I don't already know. I usually can be found scouring the contents of youtube for the newest makeup application technique, or a review on the newest MAC products. I'm not sure WHY I do this, because I don't own a single thing with a MAC label on it, or frankly, anything affiliated with MAC. But hey, as I watch these women and girls apply flawlessly pigmented color to their eyelids with a dizzying array of brushes I have never before TOUCHED, I feel a little less poor. Like I'm peeking in on something that I can never have but want so badly I can almost taste the freshly pressed powder on my tongue.

So I was surfing around like some crazed makeup frenzied stalker when I came upon a video that was labeled 'Christmas Haul.' And I gotta say. This really really bothered me. A Haul, if you are unsure, is when a person goes out and buys a bunch of new products. They bring it home and display their treasures for us poor shmucks to gaze at longingly and ask questions about when really we'll never own it in our lives. It wasn't the Haul part that bothered me. It was the fact that this girl was treating her Christmas gifts like... a Haul. I felt like the spirit of christmas had been sullied. Torn, spit upon and lit like a burning bush. Since when has the spirit of christmas been dulled so much that it is treated like a 'Haul'. I could almost imagine some greedy little gremlin poking its hands around at christmas time, 'GIMME GIMME GIMME' crossing its lips as it struggled to grab everything in its clutches.

I stared in wonder, and growing disguist as item after item was displayed. Hundreds of dollars worth the name brand clothing and shoes. More MAC makeup than I could ever hope to own in my life... to a 13 year old girl. Now maybe it was jealousy, or maybe it was just the frugal penny pinching hag that lives inside my body, but I got almost a little angry. I couldn't help but wonder what this 13 year old girls parents were thinking. What 13 year old needs designer jeans and pore minimizing lotion? What 13 year old needs foundation and blush? What flaw could possibly be on this girls face that she required these things?

My mind still boggles a little bit when I try to comprehend it. I mean... don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing a little girl. That is not at all my intention here, I'm just trying to understand WHY? Shouldn't little girls be getting bikes? I probably sound like a real jerk, but look at it from my perspective. I'm a mother. Sure I have a little boy, but at the same time... when he turns 13, what is he going to expect from me? 4 pairs of Air Force 1's? A skateboard signed by tony hawk? How can I possibly live up to these standards? And it got me thinking even more... what's going to happen the next year? Are we moving the car buying age to 14 now? Am I going to suddenly have to start wondering how I'm going to afford another car insurance payment?

I know this is totally unrealistic, but it's SCARY. It's scary that the standards have changed so much, but the money isn't there to match... and what about the appreciation? Is my son suddenly going to hate me because I couldn't afford to get him the best of the best? And what kind of parent would I be if he did start to hate me?

We parents always question what we're doing. Is it wrong, is it right? I'm not going to judge anybody else's parenting skills. I understand that as a parent we want our children to have the BEST of everything, but all of this really begs the question how much is too much? When should we decide to cut things off? I wonder a little how it would make that girls parents feel, if they saw her referring to her gifts as 'HAULS' instead of loving and well thought out presents. I know how it would make me feel, and it's not good.

I've rambled too much. I suppose this was my big thought for the day, so I'll leave you with it, and your judgement.

Love

Mommy Neva

Btw... why is a 13 year old allowed to make unsupervised videos on youtube???